Shark tank

Among some of my other idiosyncrasies, I am a research junkie. It's a product of my age, having a job where I have an inordinate amount of free time and access to a computer. I love looking stuff up, so when I found out I was pregnant with my second, naturally I started reading everything I could get my hands on about pregnancy, parenting, breastfeeding and birthing. The sea of information could swallow a person whole and leave them washed up on some foreign shore, beaten and battered. For every parenting philosophy there seems to exist an army of 'extremists', for whom any deviation from a prescribed parenting method is heinous and evidence of abuse or at the very least neglect. Does one dare to pose even the most educated alternative view? To do so would be like slicing yourself open and jumping into shark infested waters. Seriously. I've witnessed an incredible amount of time and energy being spent tearing Mothers down for our different parenting choices when all we are really trying to do is the best we can for our babies. Why are women so hell bent on making each other feel inferior?

Talk to anyone who works with kids and they will tell you boys can be mean but girls can be down right cruel. From the time that we are in grade school, through high school, into our adult lives we sabotage our own progress by cutting each other down at the knees every chance we get. I understand people's passions get the best of them and some times we use our words as weapons rather than as tools to teach, but when that happens are we really helping our cause or alienating another Mother. I believe there exists a huge difference between 'in your face' information (i.e. videos of circumcision) and going on the attack. One is very good at grabbing some one's attention; the latter is only good for putting people on the defensive. Typically, this shuts down any possibility that the message, no matter how well intentioned or well researched, will not be heard. So many of the issues we face are like our sagging boobs, they could do with some good support. I'm being metaphorical but of course, but aren't our decisions as parents as personal a thing as our tatas? And doesn't the information we have now about raising our children change as we, as society changes? Aren't we all constantly learning and growing from our experiences as parents? And isn't every Mother and family and baby unique and deserving of unique care?

We already face a world of criticism and judgment. We get it from our mothers, mother-in-laws, Doctors, teachers and people we've never met before in our lives! I'll try to be 'crunchy' but from time-to-time, I'll probably get soggy in milk. Rather than trying to fit into someone else's idea of how I should be, I'll be IP, an Informed Parent. That way when some well intentioned Mom comes baring down on me with teeth gnashing, I can defend myself with information rather than condemnation.