Monday, March 25, 2013

Junk Food Confessions

I really like YouTube Vlogger, Jenna Marbles. I feel like we could hang out. She's educated, I'm educated. She drinks and swears, I drink (well, not right now) and swear. She's kind of a spaz, I'm kind of a spaz. Anyway, when I saw her video Junk Food Confessions, I was inspired to do my own version. Now, ordinarily I try to eat pretty healthy. I like real food made by people not science food made by machines in factories but I have a real weakness for candy and, well, you'll see...

I made my husband go to the store for pickles and Twizzlers at, like, 9 at night. I then ate 3 pickles and a half a bag of Twizzlers. I'm talking the big bag.

For an entire week I stopped at Sonic everyday and ordered a banana shake. Sometimes I ordered tater tots with cheese or onion rings too but I always had a banana shake.

I stopped at McDonald's 3 times in 2 days for a McChicken with cheese and small french fries. At least one of those times, it was before dinner (which my husband cooks) so I pretended I didn't feel good because I was still full.

I Google searched images of disco fries and then stared at a picture of them for about 10 minutes.

One day after work, I ate pickles until my stomach hurt.

I purposely didn't eat before leaving the house, on more than one occasion, just so we'd have to go through the drive through somewhere.

I've eaten at Jimmy John's and Planet Sub despite warnings about deli meats and listeria.

We keep a candy dish in our office. I wiped out half of it in an afternoon.

One day for lunch, I went to Wendy's but I couldn't decide if I wanted a bacon cheese burger, fries, a lemonade and a frosty or chili, fries, a lemonade and a frosty so I just ordered all of them....and I ate them.

I hide candy from my kids all. the. time
I crave champagne. 
Something my husband made for dinner didn't sound that good to me so I had him make me Ramen noodles and a grilled cheese sandwich.

I ate half a jar of peanut butter, one spoonful at a time. 

I wake my husband up on Saturdays and Sundays so he will make me breakfast even though I'm perfectly capable of making it myself.

I spent entire weekends in bed, so if no one was around to help with Charlie, I'd let him eat in bed with me. On more than one occasion, I found candy or chips in the bed....and I ate them.

I feel like this explains why the majority of my pregnancy weight gain so far has been in my ass. In case you were wondering, at the close of my 1st trimester I started feeling much better. I'm now craving fresh veggies....and candy. Also, the swelling in my fingers and feet from all the excess sodium has gone down so I can wear my wedding ring and shoes.