tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25006086691346751832024-03-13T23:40:30.620-05:00My Belly BlogA TMFI account of my second and third pregnancies. No apologies and probably some whining.Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-64017159989188121802013-12-20T23:07:00.001-06:002013-12-20T23:07:09.458-06:00Scarlet Rose's Birth StoryScarlet is almost 5 months old now, so I suppose it's high time I write her birth story.<br />
<br />
It had been weeks since I'd had a decent night of sleep. My belly was enormous and made it impossible to get comfortable. Most nights I had such bad heart burn I couldn't lay down and I was up to the bathroom no less than 5 times a night. Still, no matter how miserable I felt, I refused to wish she come early. Through sheer force of will, I was going to keep her safe inside me until it was her time. Scarlet had other ideas. It was early the morning of August 7th. I was already awake but there was a terrible storm blowing through. The thunder was so loud it shook the whole house and woke Charlie. Scared, he came to our bedroom and climbed into bed with us but he was restless. I couldn't get him back to sleep and I was beginning to get really uncomfortable. A steady tension had taken over my belly and made it even more difficult to get comfortable. The tension persisted so long, I began to worry something was wrong. When it was time for Micha to start getting up to get ready for work, I told him I thought I was in labor. I was only 35 weeks, I didn't even have a bag packed. We called my Mom, our doctor and I showered and threw some things in a bag. Micha had to go into work. We had no idea whether they would allow him to take off to be with me as he was still in training. Our neighbor took me to the hospital. Micha finally got a hold of someone who could approve him taking off so he met us there. <br />
<br />
When we arrived at the hospital, I wasn't sure what would happen. I wasn't even entirely certain I was in labor. I kept saying "I'm going to feel real dumb if I'm not. This is my 3rd time and I still haven't got it figured out!" If it was true labor, I thought they might try to stop it. They admitted me and hooked me to the monitors and confirmed I was in fact in labor. The nurse wanted me to stay in a reclined seated position, hooked to the monitor until Dr. McFarlane arrived and decided whether we'd proceed or try to halt labor. I remembered how hard it was for me to communicate what I needed or wanted during my labor with Charlie. I repeated "I can't stay like this" until the nurse agreed to let me sit up more. The doctor arrived and said it probably wouldn't do much good to try and stop things at this point. Our nurse remarked that I must have some power over the notoriously controlling Dr. McFarlane. I told her that had never been our experience with him, in fact that was why I'd chosen him again. I'd even considered a home birth but he was so cool with Charlie, we went back to him. I spent the majority of the rest of my labor in the giant tub in our birthing suite. My Mom arrived. I was not hooked to a monitor again nor was I "checked" again until it was time to break my water. The hospital called a neonatalogist to come and arrangements were made for the transport team to come and take Scarlet to Children's Mercy as soon as she was stable.<br />
<br />
Dr McFarlane thought things would progress faster if he tried to release my water. What was supposed to be a small leak turned into a flash flood. I had hydramnios which was why my belly was so huge. Now there was so much fluid coming out at each contraction, a janitor had to be called into mop the floor. Transition came on quickly and I'm not ashamed to say, I am a yeller. I had been moaning through the contractions in an effort to keep my jaw from tightening but as the contractions became more intense, the moaning got louder and grew to yelling. I remember distinctly telling my mother she was crazy. I also remember wanting to not swear and mar an otherwise beautiful event. I didn't want to, but I did. I was having trouble saying the things I really wanted to say like "I need to move" came out "I can't do this". I felt like sitting was blocking her path but I couldn't move on my own and I couldn't tell anyone what I wanted. I decided that transition was not working for me and I was going to start pushing whether it was time or not. "I'm done with this" I said. Then I started to feel her moving and she was <i>right there</i>. The doctor wasn't in the room, the janitor was still mopping, my Mom was helping the nurse put pads and towels down. I needed to tell them but I couldn't make my mouth say the words. I pointed but no one understood. I finally blurted out "She's coming!"<br />
<br />
The doctor arrived. I remember him saying "Give me 2 seconds, just 2 seconds." I thought to myself, "Are you talking to her or to me? Because she is not listening and I am not in control of this ride, buddy." I was still yelling. My Mom told me to pant. I thought "Panting. Right. I know that. How do I pant? Dogs pant. How do they do that?" I think I even stuck my tongue out. I couldn't make my body do what my Mom was now demanding that I do. "Forget it" I said to myself. You can't hold your breath if your yelling. You can't yell through clenched teeth. The yelling was working for me. It took no time at all. A couple of pushes and she was out. "I did it!" They tried to put her on my chest but her cord was so short she barely reached. Mom and I decided later, that was why I'd never really felt her drop. It was only a few seconds before the neonatal team took her. They worked on her in the corner of the room while Micha watched over them and my Mom stayed with me. Was her color good? Did she cry? I couldn't tell. It happened too fast and I was so tired. Was she ok? I think they said she was but I couldn't see her. There must have been 8 people in gowns standing over her. I couldn't hear them. I think I started to have a panic attack. It felt like something was squeezing my lungs shut and the harder I tried to fill them, the more it hurt and the tighter they closed up. <br />
<br />
Once I was able to sit up more, it became easier to breath. My Mom and Micha reassured me that Scarlet was ok. How big was she? That was my next worry. She had to be a certain size in order to have her surgery endoscopically, the least invasive way to perform the procedure she needed. I began to shake. No one told me that after natural labor my body would shake uncontrollably. It hadn't happened after Tay and Charlie. I was freezing and shaking for what seemed like an hour. My lips turned blue and I couldn't feel my fingers. Even my Mom got a little worried. They brought me extra blankets and I rolled to my side and finally fell asleep. <br />
<br />
After a few minutes, the neonatalogist came in to talk to me about Scarlet. She was a healthy weight, 6 lbs 6 oz and was 19" long. She'd needed oxygen but she was otherwise looking very good. The transport team would get her ready for her trip to Children's Mercy. I was able to rest a little more before my doctor came back to tell me that as long as I was careful and promised to take it easy, he would release me. I could chose to stay overnight or I could go home. The nurse wheeled me to the nursery to see Scarlet off. The transport team moved her into the mobile isolette and went through their check list. I started to cry. All I wanted to do was hold her close to me. To take her home and cuddle her in our bed. It would be 7 long weeks before we would be able to.<br />
<br />
Scarlet is most likely our last baby as Micha and I feel our family is complete. I had such a hard time feeling connected to her, even before her diagnosis, but her amazing birth made up for it. We worked perfectly together and from the moment I looked at Scarlet, I knew I needed her as much as she needed me. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-14993287887313028792013-07-08T13:06:00.000-05:002013-07-18T13:07:23.479-05:00How much IQ can you cram into one room?We had an echocardiagram at Children's Mercy hospital this morning. The echo looked good. None of the heart defects that are commonly associated with Down Syndrome but we'll have to go back in 4 weeks because little Miss Scarlet kept waiving her hand over her chest, creating a shadow over her heart and in particular the aortic arch. The cardiologist said that even if there is a narrowing in the aorta, it can typically be treated with medication and shouldn't affect her surgery.<br />
<br />
We also had our integrated consult with the pediatric surgeon, neonatologist, a social worker, genetic counselor and the lovely LPN who manages to coordinate all of these people. I'm pretty sure the combined IQ in the room was in the thousands. We were super impressed with everyone the pediatric surgeon, Dr. Iqbal, in particular. We got the sense that Dr. Iqbal could perform Scarlet's surgery blind-folded. He even took the time to draw a diagram for Micha, who was having a difficult time picturing exactly what the repair would be. They answered all of our questions about Scarlet's birth, when and how she would need to be transferred and showed us the NICU, where she will stay until she heals from the surgery. They also spoke with us about potentially delivering at Children's Mercy. Let me tell you, if you are going to have a baby who needs emergent care upon birth, Children's Mercy is the place to do it. They essentially have a team of doctors and nurses dedicated to each delivery that hang out in an adjoining room until they are called upon to work their miracles. Ultimately, we decided that while that would be terrific if we really needed it, we'd stick with our original plan to deliver at our hospital with our OB. Being in a separate hospital from Scarlet will be tough, but I believe that ultimately, her outcomes are improved if she can have a non-surgical, unmedicated birth and the best chance of that happening is some place that I'm already comfortable with people I'm comfortable with. Plus, it's a long drive, in traffic, in labor from where we live to Children's Mercy. <br />
<br />
Children's Mercy is, in itself, an impressive place. It's obvious they are truly dedicated to the health and comfort of the children in their care. Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-26668901800046370532013-06-14T10:24:00.001-05:002013-06-15T12:29:38.113-05:00When 'Perfect' Isn't (part 3)We've received the preliminary results of the amnio and it indicates a trisomy on the 21st chromosome which is consistent with Down Syndrome. The final results rarely deviate from the preliminary results so now we know for sure, Scarlet has Down Syndrome. I'd love to say that I took the news gracefully, chin up but that would be a lie. I cried...a lot. I had any number of selfish, superficial thoughts about what this would mean for Scarlet, for Micha and I and for our family. Micha and I talked about all of the things we were thinking and feeling about this overwhelming news. He has taken the whole situation in stride. I can't imagine going through this with anyone else. By the end of the night, I felt better about what lie ahead for us. As I lay awake in bed, I started thinking about how we will tell Tay the news. I wanted to tailor my message so that it sounded positive while making sure she knew it was ok to feel however she felt about it. As I began to think of the things I might say, I realized I wasn't 'spinning' the news. The words that came to me are what I believe and feel.They sounded something like this: 'At the end of the day, we are still getting to bring home a new baby, a little sister who will still probably want her big sister to paint her nails and play Barbie's and watch princess movies with her. We're lucky because other than the problem with her stomach, she looks healthy and strong.' So strong in fact, she wears me out with all her kicking around! By the next morning, I felt better. As I grieved the picture in my mind of the baby I thought I was having and got used to the new picture that was forming, that feeling of excitement swept away all of the stress and sadness I'd been feeling for weeks. <br />
<br />
Micha and I agreed that the worst part of telling people would be some of them feeling sorry for us. Although we know it would come from a place of love, it isn't like the cat died or losing a job or something. Scarlet's birthday will still be a joyous occasion. She's still the product of Micha and I's love and devotion to each other. And while we will certainly face different types of challenges raising her, we know that we have the support of our family and friends. In the meantime, we are redefining what our vision of our 'perfect' family looks like. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-52068869351374427092013-06-06T08:58:00.000-05:002013-06-15T12:29:38.117-05:00When 'Perfect' Isn't (part 2)The morning of the appointment with the specialist. I don't think it's a coincidence that
the song I wake to is <i>Just Breathe</i> by Pearl Jam. It's a song that is
special to me for a number of reasons. It calms me despite it's quick
tempo, dramatic swells and sometimes somber sentiments. I'd hoped it was
a good sign. I worked until 12:30 and then Micha came to take me to the
appointment with the genetic counselor and neonatologist.. We first spoke with the genetics counselor who took our
family history and explained that, in fact, the ultrasounds from our
doctor's office indicated multiple soft markers for Down Syndrome or
another chromosomal abnormality. In addition to the asymmetrical
ventricles, Scarlet is missing her nasal bone, shows a thickened nuchial
fold and a 'double bubble'. Our doctor had never mentioned the other
markers, only the asymmetrical ventricles. We were taken totally by
surprise. After we visited with the genetic counselor we were taken in
for the ultrasound. The doctor confirmed all of the markers and also
noted that one of Scarlet's long bones measured short. She also
explained the the 'double bubble' or duodenal atresia would need to be
corrected surgically before Scarlet would be able to eat. She talked to
us about the amniocentesis versus the blood draw to determine whether
or not it was in fact Down Syndrome and gave us a few moments to talk
and decide what we wanted to do. <br />
<br />
I'd already been
fighting back tears during the ultrasound. Micha held my hand and at one
point I could feel his hand starting to shake and I knew that he was
feeling what I was. Hope was slipping away. We'd walked into that
appointment really feeling that Dr. McFarlane was just being overly
cautious, that this was a big deal over a small thing that would
probably correct itself in utero or shortly after birth. And even if it
didn't, the doctors would place a shunt and viola, problem solved. But
as the doctor confirmed each of the markers, we realized at the very
least our baby would need surgery within days of being born and that she probably had Down Syndrome. We decided to get the amnio since a
diagnosis of Down Syndrome would affect her surgical plan. I listened
to a guided relaxation MP3 on my phone during the procedure. It hurt no
more than getting a shot would and it didn't matter anyway. The worst
of the pain was in my heart. Micha drove me home where more bad news was
waiting for us. Because I have a high deductible insurance plan and
we'd been using our savings to make ends meet since Micha's unemployment
began, I applied for medical assistance through the state of Kansas.
Hoping for one piece of good news on an otherwise crappy day, I opened
what I had hoped were approval letters. Instead, I found that the state
had denied our application for medical assistance. I started to cry,
sobbing really, so loudly I thought the neighbors might hear.<br />
<br />
Once
I stopped crying, I became angry. Really angry. I had no doubt that God
existed but He was a bastard and he could go pound salt. I'd lost
everything once already. I wasn't doing it again so what ever lesson He
was trying to teach me, He better figure out another way. I wasn't
blaming Him for Micha losing his job or for the state denying our
coverage, but the baby, that was different. He had control there. He
could've given us a healthy baby. There are idiots getting pregnant all
the time that don't even want their children, that drink and do drugs
and their babies are ok. I, we, wanted this baby and I took care of
myself and avoided anything that might be harmful. Micha tried his best
to comfort me, and at one point I think he'd bowed his head and closed
his eyes in prayer. I wanted to tell him 'Stop it. I've been doing that
for months now and He isn't listening so don't waste your breath.' but I
didn't. Micha had just as much right to do whatever might make him feel
better as I did. He chose prayer. I threw a grand tantrum, complete
with swearing, smashing stuff and punching inanimate objects....in my
mind. The most I could muster in reality was throwing my tissue and
sobbing loudly. Then came the guilt. I momentarily forgot everything I learned in Genetics and started asking myself 'what if this was something I'd
done?' We hadn't really been trying to get pregnant again, at least not
yet, and it was close to the holidays so I know there were a couple
occasions when I drank before we knew I was pregnant. What if it was my
hypothyroidism? I tried to be good about taking my medication but I've
never been good about taking pills. Maybe it really was my age. Had I been so selfish in wanting another child that I ignored the odds? I haven't gone to church, or prayed or helped the poor as much as I should've. I'd been blessed and
fell short on promises I'd made to be a better person. <br />
<br />
Over the next few days, I came to grips
with the probability that Scarlet was going to be diagnosed with
Down Syndrome. Even though the genetic counselor told us that there
was still only a 20-30% chance, I'd had enough false hope in the last 4
weeks. I didn't know anything about raising a child with Down
Syndrome. And what about our other children? A new baby takes so much
attention, how would we make sure they still got the attention they needed? And that wasn't even the most immediate
concern. I worried about making it full-term, as duodenal atresia has
caused hydramnios (excess amniotic fluid) which can cause pre-term
labor. I also worry about her having such a traumatic first few days.
As I understand it, she'll have to be in NICU for a couple days before she has surgery and
then she'll have to stay until she can eat all on her own. It bothers me
that she won't just get to be with us the way Charlie and Tay were. I
think about her having tubes to keep her stomach empty and being hooked
to machines. How will I comfort her if I can't nurse her? Will she feel hungry? I worry what
not being able to nurse right away will mean for our breastfeeding
relationship. I tell Scarlet that her first few days Earth-side might
be scary so take as long as she needs to cook. I'll do my best to help
her through the first week or so until she can come home and then her
Dad and I would do everything we can to show her how not scary the world
can be. I also resolved some of my anger at God. I realized that
probably none of this is about me, the life I've led or how 'good' or
'bad' a Christian I've been. I can't say I'm 100% over it, but I know
that this baby will be no less a blessing for us than our other
children. Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-48294277677805609732013-05-30T12:30:00.000-05:002013-06-15T12:29:38.115-05:00When 'Perfect' Isn't (part 1) Another sleepless night. I've had a number of them during this pregnancy. Micha lost his job just a little over a month after we found out we were expecting. Needless to say, worrying about our finances has kept me up a few nights. But last night it wasn't money that was troubling me. <br />
<br />
With Charlie I became convinced that my Ob/GYN's favorite word was 'perfect'. Everything was always 'perfect'. Funny word; perfect. I used to hate the word 'perfect' because of all the pressure and preconceived notions that accompany it. Now, I'd give anything to hear it. <br />
<br />
Scarlet's first ultrasound was May the 8th. That was the first time Dr. McFarlane didn't say "Everything looks perfect." Instead, he told us that measurements of Scarlett's left and right ventricles of her brain didn't match. He assured us that this was not uncommon and that, often, it resolves itself. He scheduled us for a follow up sonogram 3 weeks later. I was a little uneasy leaving the appointment but Micha reassured me. I forced myself not to Google anything for fear I might find something totally horrifying but Micha did and told me he was even <i>less</i> worried than before. <br />
<br />
Three weeks passed and Micha and I went back. While we waited for the results, we joked "What if your doctor entered the room like Cramer? Would you go back to him?" We made bets about whether the hair the sonographer spotted on the ultrasound was red. I was so certain that Dr. McFarlane would come in and tell us that everything looked 'perfect'. But he didn't. He told us that we'd be sent to see a specialist and encouraged us to have an amniocenteses, if that was the recommendation. I was so shocked, I couldn't process what he was saying. I couldn't ask any questions. I just sat there nodding and blinking and trying to breath. As Micha drove me home, I silently screamed at God "I hate you for this" like a petulant teenager. <br />
<br />
Truth be told, I've been angry with Him for some time now. I've prayed and prayed about Micha's employment situation. The longer he's gone without a job, the more unfair the whole situation seems. We're grateful for our lives, the blessings in them. We didn't take for granted our children, our home or even our jobs. We didn't deserve this. Was it really too much to ask to just enjoy the excitement of our new baby? Our last baby? And now, <i>this</i>? I am supposed to have <i>normal</i>, healthy, <i>perfect</i>, clinically very boring pregnancies. I am one of those women who could just have my baby in the bathtub at home because I am so low risk. So why is <i>this</i> happening? But as the week went by and I spoke with Micha and my Mom, I became more and more confident that everything was going to be fine. <br />
<br />Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-32966044765481376502013-05-23T16:37:00.002-05:002013-05-23T16:37:42.782-05:00Someone stole my assA few weeks ago I was fresh out of the shower and slathering moisturizer on when I caught my reflection in the mirror and discovered; someone has stolen my ass. The ass in the mirror was not one I recognized and therefore could not have been mine. I have no idea when the theft occurred because my maternity pants and unders all still fit and my husband still says it looks great. But I am telling you,<i> that</i> ass is not <i>my</i> ass. <br />
<br />
With my first pregnancy I stayed ridiculously small. I was 19 and had the metabolism of a rabbit. I didn't even buy maternity clothes because even at 9 months, I could still see my toes.With my second pregnancy, 14 years later I obviously started out weighing more than I had at 19. I ate well and continued to walk and do yoga nearly every evening, so I stayed in relatively good shape. After I had Charlie though, I really fell off working out. With this pregnancy, I've eaten horribly and I've walked or done yoga maybe twice. Sometimes, I suck at life. Luckily, tomorrow is a new day. Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-21964967198411815712013-05-23T16:25:00.001-05:002013-06-04T10:33:56.634-05:00Mover, Shaker and a Dress Maker??Lying awake at 4am (because that's what time I have to get up to go pee) on March 28th, I got to feel the first flutters of Baby Bear moving. Now if I pay attention after I eat, I can feel him/her kicking around on a pretty regular basis. About a week later, on April 4th, Micha got to feel the baby kick. Pretty good for something about the size of a turnip.<br />
<br />
Also, I have a confession to make. I sent the following text to my bestie:<br />
<br />
"I hate bitches that look put together at Target. I look like I just came from the gym except instead of glowing and tone, I'm sweaty and giggly. And this bitch has the nerve to come in looking like she just came from her personal stylists house."<br />
<br />
Now do I really hate the woman in Target who looks totally cute in a casual and Pinterest-worthy way? No. My actually reaction to seeing her was try and get as far away from her as humanly possible so as not to look even worse by comparison. And it certainly wasn't her fault that unlike me, she took the time to put some effort into her appearance, while I was busy cleaning and trying to get ready for a house full of Easter Sunday guests. I can't really blame my appearance on Easter Sunday or my usual domestic duties or even pregnancy. If I'm being perfectly honest, I've been in a bit of a slump for awhile now. I don't have to dress nice for work so I don't dress up.. or wear make-up... or brush my hair for that matter. I'd just rather be sleeping. Actually, if I could sleep in and still arrive at my destination looking effortlessly fresh and cute, as if by magic, that would be great. The best of both worlds. Of course, I was painfully aware of my style slump upon sending a text that offended my own sense of feminism (and really rationality). So I decided I needed style rehab.<br />
<br />
Now for those of you reading this that are all "I'm a Mom, that's what I care about and I'm fine with looking however I look blah, blah, blah...", congratulations on being more self-evolved than I am. Seriously. I just happen to be at a point in my life where I <i>feel </i>better when I <i>look </i>better. From time-to-time, I find myself feeling blah or frumpy and it typically ends with me cutting all my hair off. Since I'm trying to grow my hair out, I thought I'd start with some cute clothes. Ha haha ha ha! I forgot that all maternity clothes (that aren't ridiculously expensive) are just sacks. Big sacks for shirts and even bigger sacks for dresses. There are two color options; giant floral print or black. If you want something more figure flattering, you can get your sack with a draw-string just under the bust. So Kim Kardashian, if you are out there somewhere reading this, I get why you are hesitant to plunge into maternity wear. It's ugly. It even sounds ugly. I was shopping online and looking at shirts that were being referred to as "Slub Maternity T-Shirt". I'm fairly certain that immediately upon putting on the 'slub' t-shirt, the wearer would have the overwhelming desire to eat a gallon of ice cream directly from the carton while watching a horrible LifeTime movie starring Meredith Baxter-Brooks.Nothing that isn't pajamas should be called 'slub'.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMu3HO6i1390gsPX10q_5awTXszbdKt4GkXYyfC_Z6pDYjlxnC0NlQ9OZPWLDQklXoeeT9Rk7W7-jccgRXfvwDaTGBEBpp8Be_bug2WtdXFBDK_liYw9QeWesOcaofq_noIumg5TD3g1M/s1600/25+weeks.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMu3HO6i1390gsPX10q_5awTXszbdKt4GkXYyfC_Z6pDYjlxnC0NlQ9OZPWLDQklXoeeT9Rk7W7-jccgRXfvwDaTGBEBpp8Be_bug2WtdXFBDK_liYw9QeWesOcaofq_noIumg5TD3g1M/s320/25+weeks.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-18255755050273013322013-03-25T12:50:00.000-05:002013-03-25T12:50:06.064-05:00Junk Food ConfessionsI really like YouTube Vlogger, Jenna Marbles. I feel like we could hang out. She's educated, I'm educated. She drinks and swears, I drink (well, not right now) and swear. She's kind of a spaz, I'm kind of a spaz. Anyway, when I saw her video <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArIBftSOZDI" target="_blank">Junk Food Confessions</a>, I was inspired to do my own version. Now, ordinarily I try to eat pretty healthy. I like real food made by people not science food made by machines in factories but I have a real weakness for candy and, well, you'll see... <br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I made my husband go to the store for pickles and Twizzlers at, like, 9 at night. I then ate 3 pickles and a half a bag of Twizzlers. I'm talking the <i>big </i>bag.<br /><br />For an entire week I stopped at Sonic everyday and ordered a banana shake. Sometimes I ordered tater tots with cheese or onion rings too but I always had a banana shake.<br /><br />I stopped at McDonald's 3 times in 2 days for a McChicken with cheese and small french fries. At least one of those times, it was before dinner (which my husband cooks) so I pretended I didn't feel good because I was still full. <br /><br />I Google searched images of disco fries and then stared at a picture of them for about 10 minutes.<br /><br />One day after work, I ate pickles until my stomach hurt.<br /><br />I purposely didn't eat before leaving the house, on more than one occasion, just so we'd<i> have</i> to go through the drive through somewhere. <br /><br />I've eaten at Jimmy John's and Planet Sub despite warnings about deli meats and listeria.<br /><br />We keep a candy dish in our office. I wiped out half of it in an afternoon.<br /><br />One day for lunch, I went to Wendy's but I couldn't decide if I wanted a bacon cheese burger, fries, a lemonade and a frosty or chili, fries, a lemonade and a frosty so I just ordered all of them....and I ate them.<br /><br />I hide candy from my kids all. the. time</blockquote>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I crave champagne. </blockquote>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Something my husband made for dinner didn't sound that good to me so I had him make me Ramen noodles and a grilled cheese sandwich.<br /><br />I ate half a jar of peanut butter, one spoonful at a time. <br /><br />I wake my husband up on Saturdays and Sundays so he will make me breakfast even though I'm perfectly capable of making it myself. <br /><br />I spent entire weekends in bed, so if no one was around to help with Charlie, I'd let him eat in bed with me. On more than one occasion, I found candy or chips in the bed....and I ate them. </blockquote>
</blockquote>
<br />
I feel like this explains why the majority of my pregnancy weight gain so far has been in my ass. In case you were wondering, at the close of my 1st trimester I started feeling much better. I'm now craving fresh veggies....and candy. Also, the swelling in my fingers and feet from all the excess sodium has gone down so I can wear my wedding ring and shoes. Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-23074997946641437402013-02-23T11:45:00.000-06:002013-03-01T11:59:59.517-06:00Big Announcement <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQcAUnTDDbasn605GzrU8l_KU9k1RqRNO7Xsdj6FOk7UUPi6y3wm6cmsDYqIjbnuWjWSqGDtAnZ3lDgYSCxSmEm6AoVEZnTxP0N1UZIyNLm5XAHHMbW73VDzXwdtmxj0c1D0WysO8za5o/s1600/2feet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQcAUnTDDbasn605GzrU8l_KU9k1RqRNO7Xsdj6FOk7UUPi6y3wm6cmsDYqIjbnuWjWSqGDtAnZ3lDgYSCxSmEm6AoVEZnTxP0N1UZIyNLm5XAHHMbW73VDzXwdtmxj0c1D0WysO8za5o/s1600/2feet.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
So here's how we decided to announce our big news.We had a very gracious friend come over and take some photos for us. We had a few 'announcement' shots and she'd taken a few randoms of the kids. We had a few different poses developed and gave grandparents and great-grandparents each a few, as though they were just shots of the kids we wanted to share. As they flipped through the pictures and got to the 'announcement' photos, it was fun to see the wheels start turning and their reactions. Then we posted the shots on Facebook to share our good news with everyone else! Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-40532284889428381792013-02-18T15:41:00.001-06:002013-02-25T11:43:12.481-06:00Dream A Little Dream 10 Weeks <br />
<br />
I just want to say for the record, rarely do I question God's judgement. I frequently question man's judgment but rarely God's. Lately though, I've decided that there are a couple of design flaws I feel I need to point out:<br />
<br />
1) Putting the uterus directly above the bladder. Really? I feel this is some kind of cosmic prank that God never tires of.<br />
<br />
2) Making it impossible to sleep for 9 months so that when the baby who will invariably keep you up all night arrives, sleep deprived becomes an understatement. Rather than being awoken 3 times a night to pee (see flaw #1) or just being unable to get comfortable, shouldn't a pregnant woman be sleeping like rock? And why can't sleep be like fat that we can store up so we have reserves to pull from when the baby actually arrives and decides to cluster feed between the hours of 2am and 6am? And what is with the crazy dreams?<br />
<br />
Speaking of which, a few nights ago I was plagued by some of those insane pregnancy induced dreams. <br />
<br />
Dream #1<br />
<br />
This one requires a little back story. A few months ago we adopted a Boston Terrier who's deaf. His name was Rocky and although he's a terrific dog, he wasn't OUR terrific dog. We found another home for him with people who had experience with a hearing impaired dog and the time and energy he really needed. So in my dream, Rocky suddenly showed back up at our house. He was sick and his leg was hurt and Micha was out of town but had forgotten his phone and because Charlie frequently deletes the message icon on his phone, I couldn't find the woman's number to call her. <br />
<br />
Dream #2<br />
<br />
A woman I had been friends with in high school gotten eaten by a shark.Ranae if you are reading this, stay out of the ocean. <br />
<br />
and worst of all Dream #3<br />
<br />
I dreamt there was something wrong with the baby. I dreamt I was bleeding and in the emergency room with Micha and my doctor's nurse was trying to figure out what was wrong. In my dream, I explained to God that I couldn't loose my baby. I just couldn't. I know it happens and women survive it and they go on but I'm not as strong as they are. I explained how I knew my other children would need me and I wouldn't want to let them down but that's what would happen. Couldn't He see? There just couldn't be anything wrong with my baby.<br />
<br />
After the last dream, I just gave up on sleeping for the rest of the night and watched infomercials and ate cereal and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (yes, plural sandwiches). Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-35384700518455925482013-01-22T15:02:00.000-06:002013-02-25T11:36:46.878-06:00Poop on a Stick You know how they say that after the first pregnancy things start happening earlier in subsequent pregnancies? Your pants get a little snugger a little sooner than the first time, your boobs are tender in week 5 or 6 instead of week 6 or 7 like the first time around. It's true. I figured out I was pregnant at 5 weeks and immediately had to pee. The cravings started right after that. One day, I wanted fries but not just fries, awesome fries. Chili fries. No, not chili fries, disco fries which I've never had before in my life. I Googled where in the KC Metro area I might get disco fries and then Googled pictures of them. (In case you're wondering Houlihan's makes them.) So here I am in week 6 and I feel like poop on a stick. With Charlie I found that if I ate something high in protein first thing in the morning, I could keep from feeling nauseous all day. Not so this time. I take a medication which has to be taken on an empty stomach and I have to wait 30 minutes to eat after I've taken it. This is the equivalent of poking my angry bear appetite with a stick and does nothing to quell the waves of nausea that have turned my morning routine into a battle of wills between me and my gag reflex. Then there are the matters of texture and smell. The idea of having to chew is nauseating all by itself, let alone the smell of food. If I could live on strictly banana milkshakes right now, I would. My dear sweet husband and resident chef, in his best attempts to be sympathetic and helpful, asks me what I might want to eat and then begins to list all of the things he could make. The longer the list, the queazier I get. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, I never do throw up although sometimes I feel it might give me some relief if I did. On a scale of glowing fertility goddess to living dead girl, I feel pale and sickly. <br />
<br />
The other problem we find we're having is keeping our big secret under wraps until we're ready to announce it (11 or 12 weeks). I know how difficult it can be to "untell" people in the event of a miscarriage. Still it's difficult when my absence has been noted at what has become a weekly gathering in our neighborhood, which has more to do with the weather and fatigue than my being pregnant. Questions are arising about my sudden abstinence from alcohol<i>. </i>This, of course, has led me to questioning my previous alcohol consumption, specifically the quantities and frequency but I digress. Also, I had begun a 5-day-a-week regime of going to the gym with a neighbor which at this point seems more like punishment than a health benefit. At any rate, I'm pretty excited about the big reveal.You can see how we announced Charlie's pending arrival <a href="http://sparkiesbellyblog.blogspot.com/2010/03/holy-pampers-batman.html" target="_blank">here</a> scroll to week 13. Thanks to Pinterest I have tons of ideas about how to go about it this time. Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-61993801622103350212013-01-08T20:00:00.000-06:002013-02-25T11:32:25.061-06:00Here We Go AgainJanuary 8th- I am a week late. I've been carefully tracking my cycle since it returned after Charlie but as my doctor pointed out, it's not very consistent so it's hard to predict my ovulation. Still, a week is a long time for me to be late. I stop on the way home from work to pick up a test and take it as soon as I can. Almost instantly, I have two blue lines. Micha and I both knew we wanted another but I wanted to wait just a few more months before trying again. The end of 2012 was financially turbulent for us and I wanted to make certain we'd made a full recovery before we had another baby. Charlie was a surprise but we felt as prepared as parents can feel. With this baby we will outgrow our family vehicle and our home. We'd no longer have a ready baby sitter, as I feel it's far to much to ask Taylor to watch a toddler and an infant. Still, I'm pretty excited and have what I'm sure is the most ridiculous grin on my face when Micha comes home from work. Here we go again!Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-713426158304375162010-11-02T16:13:00.004-05:002010-11-02T17:31:29.997-05:00Epi-blog-ueLooking at Charlie's birth in retrospect, I think it was wonderful and vastly different from Mumble's birth. I do sometimes wish that I had not gotten the epidural, other times I'm glad I did. It was on my terms, rather than because the hospital staff was trying to 'move things along' and gave me Pitocin. Being able to own that decision makes a big difference in how I feel about it. A few days after we brought Charlie home, I broke down about it to Micha. He feels some guilt because he felt like he let me down as the 'coach'. He said 'Well, can you hold Charlie and eat a bunch of chocolate?' He was partially joking but it's his way of saying 'I don't understand, but I don't want you to be upset.' Oddly enough he said, "Well next time maybe we can do it at home." This from the guy who, when I mentioned home birth, said "Why would anyone do that? That is crazy!" He was actually a really good partner, considering the fact that he was really not prepared. That might be the one part of this hospital birth experience that I was the most disappointed with. We took a child birth prep class and the majority of the time, the instructor talked about surgical births, worst case scenarios and her own child birth experiences. She spent an inordinate amount of time showing the various positions that the bed can be converted to (I've had labors shorter than the time it took her to demonstrate!) Very little time was spent on a normal, vaginal delivery or on how to cope with labor and how to support labor. In fact, Micha was very surprised when he was told to hold my leg and there wasn't a sheet covering my lower extremities like in the movies. <br />
<br />
Charlie is two weeks old and we are still trying to figure each other out. Breastfeeding is presenting some challenges, as I suppose it does for everyone. Charlie 'cluster feeds' between the hours of 1am and 3 or sometimes 5am. Basically, he nurses non-stop, only pausing to be burped or changed or to switch sides. Compounding the lack of sleep and the sand paper nipples is the fact that Charlie is a 0 to 60 in 3 seconds baby. What I mean is, if Charlie's need isn't met in 3 seconds or less, he has a full-blown nuclear melt down. Also he is not crazy about the pacifier. The hospital sent one home with us which Lily the Destroyer promptly ate. My Mom had given me a variety of different ones knowing that babies can sometimes be particular about which pacifier they will take. Charlie didn't like any of them. The only one he liked was the one the hospital sent home, the one we couldn't find in any store and the one we didn't know the manufacturer of. Through Facebook, I did find out who the vendor was and ordered 7 more but my nipples, which had nearly healed, were starting to feel like sandpaper again. The lanolin and the soothies weren't helping any more and I was crying through night time feedings. This prompted Micha to make a 3:30 am trip to the ER to beg the hospital staff for another one while we waited for the one's I ordered to arrive.<br />
<br />
I was having a conversation with a friend who took Charlie's newborn photos and she made the comment she felt like she was better at motherhood when she was 'too young'. She also had her first child at 19 and said she never thought about it, she just did it. I feel the exact same way. When Mumbles was born, I just did what needed to be done, I never considered the lack of sleep or the time it took heal up. With the exception of some anxiety post-partum was not even part of my vocabulary. Now I cry...a lot. I cry because I feel like I don't know what I'm doing, or because I'm tired or because my boobs hurt. I cry because I'm happy or I'm looking at Charlie while he sleeps and he is just so perfect. I cry because Micha is traveling or because I resent him for being able to sleep when I can't. And then Charlie makes a funny face or noise and I'm smiling and laughing.<br />
<br />
<br />
I'm starting a new blog for the next chapter of my life: <a href="http://sparkie79.blogspot.com/">Charles in Charge</a>Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-78213148441392220452010-10-20T11:49:00.000-05:002010-10-20T11:49:38.288-05:00Charlie's Birth StoryOctober 4th- My Mom's birthday, naturally with my due date being so close and Mumbles having been a little early, we've all mused about the possibility of Charlie and Mom sharing birthdays. After all the nonsense with the insurance and a couple false alarms, I had pretty much resolved to stop thinking about it. The truth was, I wasn't ready to not be pregnant anymore. I loved being pregnant and I didn't feel miserable like a lot of women do toward the end. Of course I was excited to see and hold my baby but I knew I would miss feeling him kick and the sense that as long as he was in there, he would be safe and happy. Once he was out in the world, he'd feel cold and hunger and loneliness. There would be times when he'd cry and I wouldn't know immediately how to help him. I always hated when Mumbles cried. Still do.<br />
At any rate, it was a Monday not much different than any other Monday. I snapped a quick picture of myself in the bathroom mirror before leaving for what would be another boring day at the office. While I was at work, I decided to re-read the amazing birth stories of a few women who'd shared them via Facebook. For whatever reason, the stories of two sisters stuck out in my mind, specifically, the fact that they both felt 'crampy' right before their labors began.<br />
After dinner, Micha and I took the dogs on a long walk. Truthfully, most walks any further than a couple blocks were long considering my need to be in close proximity to a bathroom at all times. On our way back, I felt 'crampy'. Not wanting to read too much into it only to be another false alarm, I blew it off. I thought to myself 'I'm looking for it because I read Kim and Kristin's birth stories.' I didn't think much more about it and went to bed. I woke up the usual five times to go to the bathroom, each time feeling 'crampy' but again I thought to myself that it was just because my bladder was full.<br />
<br />
October 5th- When my alarm went off at 5:30 am, I woke up still feeling crampy. The cramps always went away but I didn't want to drive all the way into to work, only to have to turn around. I sent my boss a text message saying it was too early to tell but I thought I might be in labor but that I would be in later if I wasn't. I woke Micha up and told him I thought I was really close. Mumbles got on her bus like usual. I called my Mom and gave her kind of the 'please stand by'. I timed three contractions and they were about eight minutes apart. I called my Mom back. She's about three hours from us and I wanted her to have plenty of time to get here. Micha made me a good, stick-to-your-ribs breakfast: Malt-O-Meal and two eggs and then ran me a warm bath. I soaked in the tub while he loaded the car, put more air in my exercise ball, installed the car seat and packed his own bag. I felt pretty good in the tub and then I got out. I got dressed and tried to make sure I had everything but the contractions felt like they were coming very quickly and they were definitely more painful. I'd get down on all fours or lean over my ball and breath through them. We decided we should time a couple more. They were about 5 to 6 minutes apart. Micha called the doctor's office and they told him we should go ahead and come in. Micha was ready to go, I however; did not want to leave my bedroom. I wanted to get back in my bath tub and stay there. Getting into the car for the 15 minute ride to the hospital was the last place I wanted to be. I started to feel overwhelmed and I told Micha it hurt too much and I wanted the epidural. He said he didn't blame me and let's get in the car to which I shook my head 'no'. We did finally make it to the car and out the drive way but we had to stop after a couple blocks because I was pretty sure I was going to throw up. The idea of puking terrified me. I was pretty sure it was going to hurt so I didn't. I knew I had to do something to get on top of my contractions so I started listening to one of my meditations on my iPhone. By the time we got to the interstate, I was starting to feel more in control.<br />
We arrived at the hospital and a very nice but ill-informed volunteer wheeled me up to the 5th floor but sent Micha to patient registration (which we'd already done). I tried not to be rude but she kept talking to me and I was feeling less than social. We got to my room and my nurse Kerri was extremely helpful. She didn't bother me while I was contracting and kept telling me I was doing great. Poor Micha was running through the hospital getting forms for me to sign. It seemed like he was gone forever and I still had to be hooked up to the monitors for 15 to 20 minutes. I didn't want to lay down so I sat in the rocker but every contraction made me want to rip off the monitors and throw them in the toilet. I wanted to be on all fours or in the tub or anywhere but that damn chair. Micha asked Kerri how dilated I was and she said about 5 or 6 and my contractions where about 2 minutes apart. The phlebotomist came to take my blood and asked me about my name. I didn't answer. I didn't want to talk. I just wanted to listen to my relaxation meditation on my phone, which rang in the middle of a contraction. It was my best friend. I told Micha to deal with her. I was getting overwhelmed again and couldn't get on top of my contractions. I felt out of control. I was having these little contractions between contractions, making it impossible to get caught up. When Micha said I might not need the epidural after all, I said I wanted it. Kerri started IV fluids and my Mom arrived shortly after.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMBI7P2fV3MiJRn1XXf7h2lMPgC5z17zLXB_m4g9PUStlFKwZ1b6OHHYMJXlT7abYLtTC28pOU7mazfwAVyn0Hgvw0IJGZtg7EB44LVB68QSeRm2EUBtupvXGpzSKZzigX0lqGvXCd-1M/s1600/067.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
</a></div>Once I had the epidural, I had to stay in bed. I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's with no sound, and chatted with my Mom and Micha. It took quite awhile for Charlie to get himself in just the right spot which actually turned out to be good because Dr. MacFarlane was with another patient (maybe an emergency?) He did come in to check me and when he did my water broke. It was still quite some time before it was time to start pushing. Kerri helped me get Charlie down most of the way and then called Dr MacFarlane...and got his voice mail! I could tell Micha was starting to get nervous but Mom and I stayed calm and it wasn't long and the Doctor arrived. I honestly don't remember his presence there, just the sound of my mother's voice encouraging me to either push or breath and the song on my iPhone (I'd left one of my ear buds in). Charlie arrived to "I Can't Help Falling in Love" as sung by Micheal Buble, which I think is totally appropriate. Then I heard her say she could see his head so I reached down to feel, no hair (and I had all that heartburn!) I probably only pushed for half an hour. Time does something funny when you are in labor. It either stands still or it flies by. It seemed like my Mom got to the hospital amazingly quickly while it seemed like Micha was gone for ever. Pushing seemed to take just a few moments. I hadn't had enough of the epidural to make me completely numb. I still felt my contractions and I still felt Charlie moving through me, it just didn't register as pain, just a sensation. I could see his head and I knew it wasn't the right color but I just kept focusing on what my Mom was saying and then he was out. He was blue from the umbilical cord being wrapped around him but they put him on my abdomen and started rubbing him with a towel. He looked surprised and then he let out a cry. After a couple minutes I heard the nurse say "I like that color much better." Charlie had 'pinked' up and looked perfect. I looked up at Micha and he was fighting back tears (my Mom and sister had a bet over whether or not he would cry). I watched while they clamped the cord and showed Micha what to do. Dr. MacFarlane stitched me up, told us we did great and congratulated us and left. The nurses went shortly after that and then it was just us for a little while. I'm sure there was other stuff going on in the world at 5:02 pm on October 5th but I wouldn't have known it.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMBI7P2fV3MiJRn1XXf7h2lMPgC5z17zLXB_m4g9PUStlFKwZ1b6OHHYMJXlT7abYLtTC28pOU7mazfwAVyn0Hgvw0IJGZtg7EB44LVB68QSeRm2EUBtupvXGpzSKZzigX0lqGvXCd-1M/s1600/067.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMBI7P2fV3MiJRn1XXf7h2lMPgC5z17zLXB_m4g9PUStlFKwZ1b6OHHYMJXlT7abYLtTC28pOU7mazfwAVyn0Hgvw0IJGZtg7EB44LVB68QSeRm2EUBtupvXGpzSKZzigX0lqGvXCd-1M/s320/067.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-1331921393595590632010-09-28T14:47:00.000-05:002010-09-28T14:47:26.971-05:00The MeltdownIn yesterdays post, <a href="http://sparkiesbellyblog.blogspot.com/2010/09/week-38-are-we-there-yet.html">Are we there yet?,</a> I talked about my stupid insurance company, with their stupid deductible and all the stupid people who think it's just as simple as <em>making</em> the baby come before the end of the month. A few hours after posting, I thought I might have been leaking amnio fluid. I tried not to get excited about it and for 45 minutes, tried to figure out whether I was just peeing my pants, a drop at a time or if it was in fact my water. Finally, I decided to just go to my doctor's office and have them do the test. I knew if I didn't Micha and I would just be freaking out all night. Turns out, I was just peeing myself. Awesome. This baby is not coming until October and I get to be wet the entire rest of time. And that was it, I completely lost it. I started bawling, sobbing loudly, in the car, driving down I35 all the way home. I scared Micha when I finally pulled in the drive, still sobbing. Was I really that upset about peeing myself? No, I've been peeing myself for weeks now the only difference is I can't really feel it anymore. Was I upset that I wasn't going into labor and thought I soon would be? No, I'm actually torn between being excited to be so close to holding Charlie and being sad that I won't be pregnant anymore. I was just tired of thinking about it. I was tired of hearing all day long things like "Clocks ticking" and "Wouldn't that be better than paying an extra $1000?" (when referring to the affects of Castor Oil and/or Pitocin). For starters, I am not going to issue an ultimatum to my baby, "Either come out on your own before midnight Sept 30th or I will make you come out!" I'm not evicting Charlie from my uterus. Secondly, unless you've actually had Pitocin, then shut the hell up! It's not like getting an IV of antibiotics. It's miserably painful- more so than natural, unmedicated labor. And yes, I could have an epidural, and like last time the headache that accompanied it for the week following delivery. An unrelenting headache and a newborn baby, between the two of which, a new Mom will never sleep. Sounds like a real party. Induction isn't even on the table anyway. My doctor won't do it and I think it's great that he feels strongly enough about letting babies arrive in their own time, not to allow patients who might be tired or uncomfortable to just decide they don't want to be pregnant anymore and force the baby out. <br />
<br />
My doctor did offer up a couple suggestions but most of the options are about as appealing as the ass end of a skunk. There's the old wives tale about sex, which actually has some scientific basis and is the only attractive option. Micha really likes this suggestion, although maybe not in conjunction with some of the other methods. The most effective, in the doc's opinion, is Castor Oil. Castor Oil is not only not very palatable, it also works by causing diarrhea. Lovely. The other is what is called 'sweeping the membranes'. Now, let me preface the explanation of what this is with a little statement about my doc. When he does my exams, he is extremely 'kind'. I'm 31 years old and this is my second pregnancy so I can guesstimate that I've had approximately 20 or so vaginal exams in my lifetime and he, by far, is the best. Very quick and virtually no discomfort. This is important, particularly during pregnancy, because when you already have something essentially the weight of a bowling ball sitting on top of your cervix, the last thing you want is some guy with gorilla hands feeling around up there. 'Sweeping the membranes' is when the practitioner goes in with his fingers and pulls the membrane away from the uterus around the opening of the cervix. In order to accomplish this, he would have to push his fingers through the cervix. Sound painful? By all accounts, it is. Plus, there's not much evidence that sweeping the membranes works and there's the small risk of accidentally rupturing the membrane, at which point the clock really does start ticking due to the increased risk of infection. Fenugreek and Evening Primrose Oil have also been used to get labor started but little is known about their efficacy and Fenugreek can cause diarrhea and Primrose Oil is thought to lengthen labor time. <br />
<br />
So I can have a painful, invasive vaginal procedure while having the shits with a suppository stuck up my woo hoo ditty, and that might start my labor but it will be longer than if I had just waited. (Notice I didn't mention having sex because, let's face it, with all that going on there's <em>no way</em> sex is happening.) The best part is, the baby may still not be ready before midnight on September 30th, making my last few weeks of pregnancy miserable for no good reason. Where do I sign up?! I wish the money wasn't a consideration for us, but that just isn't our lot. There are somethings that are just not worth the worry though and somethings that are totally worth the wait.Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-41889492687168968242010-09-27T12:13:00.000-05:002010-09-27T12:13:58.141-05:00Week 38- Are we there yet?I am a planner. It's my nature. From the moment I open my eyes in the morning, I start planning my steps, even on my days off. Don't get me wrong I plan for stuff like fun and naps, but it's typically after the work has been done. And I don't get bent competely out of shape when things don't go exactly according to my plan because <em>I plan</em> for them not to. Naturally, when I found out I was pregnant, I started planning. What kind of birth did I want? Who will be there? Who will take care of Mumbles? How will we pay for it? And my personal favorite, when do we decorate the nursery?! Knowing that the final month of pregnancy can be chaotic, emotional and physically very draining, I really wanted to have everything ready/done by the time September rolled around. I wanted to spend as much time with Mumbles and Micha as I could and I wanted to relax and focus on taking care of myself. The house is clean, the nursery is done (mostly), the freezer is stocked and Mumbles will be taken care of by my new, but very dear friend. The financial arrangements were made and fullfilled months ago. So far, so good right? Then, less than 4 weeks to my EDD, my boss sends out an email stating that as of October 1st, our insurance policy will change and our new deductible will be $1,000 <em>more </em>than what we were already paying so if we've met our deductible and we still have any needs, we should take care of them before Sept 30th. Wonderful. An extra $1,000 when I only have 2 weeks of paid leave (I'll be on leave for between 5 and 9 weeks, depending on when Charlie decides to arrive), Christmas is right around the corner and even when I do return to work, it will only be part-time until after the New Year. Even more upsetting is everyone's purposed solution to my dilemma- "Just go get induced." Seriously?! WTF?! Even the stupid woman from the agency that is <em>supposed</em> to be trying to get us the best rates for insurance suggested that maybe my doctor would induce me. No, for the record, he won't because it's<strong> unethical</strong> to induce labor if it isn't medically neccessary. Not to mention that trying to<em> make</em> a baby come before he and Mom are ready is essentially like trying to shove a person through a small window...that is closed. It doesn't work. It puts undue stress on baby and Mom and will more than likely end up in c-section. So basically instead of relaxing and taking care of myself, I find myself obsessing about when the baby will come and hoping it's before midnight on Sept 30th.Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-7405767851594896472010-09-14T14:42:00.000-05:002010-09-14T14:42:19.537-05:00Week 36- Just a little emotional vomit...I've had a stressful week. My Dad was in ICU overnight, my insurance company has essentially asked me to bend over and grab my ankles, I peed myself, I still hate my job and Micha has started traveling, the first week of which is always so hard for me. I decided to allow myself last night to mope and feel sorry for myself and cry and just be very small version of a train wreck, maybe with model trains instead of life-sized ones. I couldn't sleep because of the storm, which was odd because a storm is usually like a shot of tranquilizer in the ass. I would love to sleep. A deep sleep that is uninterrupted by the immediate need to pee no less than five times every night. <br />
<br />
Anyway, while I was lying awake, I thought about the conversation I had with my Dad. He'd been in ICU overnight but was going to be ok and they were moving him to a regular room. He got all emotional and started saying that he'd gotten cheated out of raising me and I'd gotten cheated out of having him as a Dad and that if we hadn't been we might be different people. I hate when he says stuff like that. No one cheated him more than he did, but even still I don't feel cheated and I don't want to be different. Is it so hard to believe that despite everything that I am <em>happy</em>? I have Mumbles, who is amazing. Sometime between watching music videos and texting her friends she has time to think about the beginning of existence. She's beautiful and sensitive. I have Micha, who is perfect for me. He makes me laugh, he supports me and he has no problem with me being stubborn and hard-headed at times. He's smart and, as my Grandma has said, he's hot. I have a beautiful home, plenty of food, I get to enjoy shopping and friends and most of my close relatives are around for me to spend time with. Sure, I hate my job, but I have one and even that it something these days. So would I trade one minute of pain or sadness in my entire life if it meant that I wouldn't be exactly where I am right now? Absolutely not! All of the things that really matter are all of the things that make me happiest, the rest is just filler. No, I was not cheated nor do I want to be different. When I look back at what could've been, I know it couldn't be any better than this.Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-17178877560888759232010-09-03T09:41:00.000-05:002010-09-03T09:41:41.662-05:00Week 35- How about a cup of shut the hell up?Ok so let's say, just hypothetically, that someone you know, could be anyone, is going into the hospital for surgery. Let's say it's the first time this person is ever going through such an experience. Would you A) Reassure them and tell them positive and uplifting stories or B) Tell them every horror story you can possibly think of in which something has gone horribly wrong and resulted in death, near death, mutilation or, at the very least, an unsatisfactory ending? Most of us who are sane, rational people, considerate of the feelings of those around us would choose A. <em>The same thing applies to preggos! </em><br />
<br />
Don't get me wrong, I know that there are women out there who have harrowing stories about traumatic births. Births that did not go the way they had envisioned and that years later they still mourn. Imagine if for nine months you planned and dreamed of your perfect wedding and then on the big day a team of jack asses waltzed in, told you that you weren't doing it right and started running the show. Sure at the end of the day you might still be married to your soul mate but you were made to feel miserable and inadequate or drugged so what should've been a profound experience winds up a hazy memory, confusing and painful. I completely understand the need for women who experience this kind of pain to share their stories. I even appreciate them doing so because it teaches other women that, no matter what kind of birth experience they want to have, they have to find their voice and make their wishes known. It helps those women who felt alone feel less so and it gives them hope that their future birth experiences can and will be different.<br />
<br />
That being said, please refrain from telling your story of vaginally birthing a 12 lb baby and nearly dying due to hemorrhaging to a pregnant woman, especially if it's her first pregnancy. Please don't share how your sister-in-law wound up on the surgery table after 37 hours of labor or how your grandmother died in childbirth. There is an appropriate time and place and there are many women who would love to hear these birth stories, but at 35 weeks, I am not one of them. Right now, all I want to hear are positive, awesome birth stories and things like "I was only in active labor for a couple hours" and "It didn't hurt that bad." I'm not turning a blind eye to women who have different stories. I know they are out there. I know they mourned and, for some, still mourn and I want to hear their stories too but not until after. And whatever you do, <strong>don't </strong>tell those stories to our partners. They often times freak out even more so than we do.Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-82437365476789456082010-08-31T14:00:00.000-05:002010-08-31T14:00:45.584-05:00Week 34- Dear CharlieI can't wait for you to get here! I think about you all the time. I want to see you and hold you and smell you. I think you'll have blue eyes but I wonder what color your hair will be? Sometimes I imagine rocking you in your room or lying down with you to watch you sleep. You'll be long and thin, I'm sure, with long slender hands and fingers. Your Dad can teach you to play guitar or maybe we'll have piano lessons. Will some part of you remember the conversations we have during my daily commute? When we talk about 90's alternative rock and 'Axl Rose Syndrome' being the reason so many of my favorite bands have not enjoyed the lingering success of one of my all time favorite bands, Pearl Jam. Do you know that whenever I hear the song Just Breathe, I think about your Dad and how much I love him and that Amongst the Waves will always be your song? <br />
It seems you move more than Mumbles did and with more force. She is my quiet and delicate girl. I suspect you'll be a perfect contrast to her. In fact, your beginning is already vastly different than hers. I feel as though I planned for you but Mumbles was planned for me. She changed my life and you are here because my life was changed. I hope you will grow up seeing just how truely amazing your big sister is. Your Dad is just as remarkable. He's smart and he works hard. I feel certain that you will always be able to look to him and see just what a father and partner should be. I know he worries about you all the time and is as anxious to hold you as I am. I wonder if you will remember a little game called 'Hey Baby' and how excited he gets when you 'do something cool'!<br />
<br />
Of all the things that I think are the most important for you to know before you get here and throughout your life the most important is this: You have a big, crazy family who loves you and will always love you more than is even imaginable. Like my Grandma used to tell me "I love you to the moon and back".Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-31844328138570735782010-08-10T09:03:00.000-05:002010-08-10T09:03:26.893-05:00Week 31- Are you gonna cry about it?Thus far, I have not had any of the roller coaster-esque mood swings that women often seem to be afflicted with during not only pregnancy but ovulation, pre-menses or just whenever we need a good excuse to be bitchy. Imagine my surprise when I cried no less than 15 times Friday. Okay, that might be a bit of exaggeration and a couple of times it was merely a welling of the eyes. Still, it isn't like me to get sappy over a wall decal but there I was cruising the Target website, looking for stuff to decorate Charlie's room. Normally, I'm not a fan of wall decals, particularly words, but this one was the <em>God Bless the Moon</em> poem that my Grandma used to say to me at night. "I see the moon; the moon sees me. God bless the moon and God bless me." It's simple and cute and seeing it there over a staged crib in a random photo studio made my eyes well up. I put it on my registry immediately, forgetting completely the fact that the walls in Charlie's room are going to be light blue, (very light blue as Micha is painting them as I type) and the decal itself is white. Oh well.<br />
<br />
We have finally started on Charlie's room after finishing up some other home improvement projects we'd started earlier in the summer. We went to an antique mall in Ottawa and found a couple of old 45's I'm going to frame and hang on the wall and Micha found a toy Swiss plane that we'll hang from the ceiling. I love this part. If I was better at art, I'd go to design school. Decorating the new house has been so much fun and it's kept me sane on the uber slow days at work. <br />
<br />
Saturday night we went to the county fair. Mumbles hung with her friends and rode the rides while Micha and I walked around looked at the animals and the 4-H projects and ate funnel cake. I'm not exactly a 'health nut' but I eat pretty good. Lots of veggies, lean meats and not to many refined carbs. I am human though and funnel cake is one of those once a year treats that no one should leave this life, without first having tried. Two hours after eating said fried, doughy, sugary treat, I was awake with heartburn, thus ruining my funnel cake experience for the year. <br />
<br />
I've started noticing Charlie's responses to certain things, like riding in the car, or the sound of his Dad's or Sister's voices. During our trip to Ottawa, I could feel a sort of rythmic waving motion across my belly which I've notice a few times since then (althought never while the DJ is talking or during a commercial, so maybe it's the music?). If he hears his Dad or his Sister talking to him, he wakes up and kicks around and if I laugh (which I do a lot at my house) he responds a few seconds later with a little rumble.Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-81763532711609268312010-08-02T15:47:00.000-05:002010-08-02T15:47:33.146-05:00None of your business!I overheard and interesting conversation while at work. Two older guys were talking about what a problem it was that one of their grandchildren was still sleeping in Mom and Dad's bed at 1 yr old. The other made the comment that it was a bad habit that children need to be "broken of." Whenever I hear someone talk about "breaking" a habit or behavior, I can't help but think back to watching the Cowboy "break" horses. It was almost invariably a brutal process. Is that really what we want to do to our kids? The conversation then turned to how when they were young boys, children shared a bedroom with their siblings. This got me to thinking, where did young children and infants sleep 'in the old days'? Wouldn't they have had to have slept with their Mother's before central air and heat, wet nurses, formulas and bottles? So how did we go from probably universally co-sleeping to the idea that co-sleeping is dangerous or at the very least a bad habit that needs to be 'broken'? And when did our bedrooms become everyone else's business?<br />
<br />
As it turns out, co-sleeping was actually the norm, even in Western cultures, up to about 150 years ago. During the 1800's child-rearing experts started to emerge and thus business of telling women how to do what they had done for centuries before without the peanut gallery, began. These 'experts', who were for the most part men, emphasized self-reliance. Additionally, the germ theory further encouraged separate sleeping quarters for fear that a mother and child breathing the same air would make one another sick. Then, with the Industrial Revolution society began breaking out of the extended family model and even building homes with additional rooms for children to sleep. Without other family members on site to help with the household duties, the burden fell solely to the mother, requiring more of her time and energy. It was late in this century that the 'cot death' myth arose and further frightened mothers into believing that sharing the same bed or room was unsafe. (<a href="http://editor.nourishedmagazine.com.au/articles/the-cosiness-of-cosleeping">http://editor.nourishedmagazine.com.au/articles/the-cosiness-of-cosleeping</a>)<br />
<br />
When Mumbles was born, I had never heard the term 'co-sleeping'. She had her own bedroom with a crib where she slept when she was napping but at night she slept in bed with me. This facilitated nursing and I never worried about rolling over on her because, with only a couple hours between feedings, I never really fell into very deep sleep. When we stopped nursing and she started sleeping for longer periods of time (around 2 months old), we made the transition to her crib. With the exception of travel, she has never slept with me since. Now, obviously Mumbles is not every child. She never developed a fear of the dark, as some children do, and she mastered a couple self-soothing techniques very early on. I still smile when I remember her flipping the handle on her 'binkie' with one hand while rubbing the satin edging of her blanket in with the other. The decision to bed-share with Mumbles was not made based on extensive research or even because it's what my mother did (although I do remember the babies sleeping in bassinets in her room). It simply felt like the normal thing to do; and it is. Newborn human babies have the least developed brain and nervous system in the mammal world. In their first years of life they rely heavily on their caregiver for basic survival. Food, temperature regulation and even heart rate and breathing are influenced by whomever is providing care. (<a href="http://www.nd.edu/%7Ejmckenn1/lab/articles/B.pdf">http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/articles/B.pdf</a>)<br />
<br />
For much of the rest of the world, co-sleeping is still the norm. There is a great deal of research indicating that it reduces the risk of SIDS. Obviously, every family is unique and co-sleeping is not for everyone. Often times we hear of an infant dying and the cause is reported to be co-sleeping. In fact, a more thorough look would reveal that there are other circumstances involved such as exposure to second-hand smoke, a chaotic home, or the over-laying parent consumed drugs or alcohol. There are other safety concerns too such as the type of bedding and the surface. Waterbeds and sofas, for example, may not be appropriate for co-sleeping. There's also a study that suggests that formula fed babies should not bed-share however; co-sleeping doesn't always mean sleeping in the same bed. <br />
<br />
Micha is fearful of bed-sharing. He is a pretty big guy and he worries that he could role over and hurt the baby. If he isn't comfortable with it, then I see no reason to try and force the issue. His fears are not silly and dismissing them as such won't make him more comfortable with it. I thought about getting a side car or turning a crib into a side car but didn't have to. My Mom brought me a beautiful bassinet that will work perfectly. It's a pretty good size so the baby can sleep with us for quite some time. He'll eventually grow out of it but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. In the meantime, I'll look forward to napping with Charlie during the day. Who wouldn't want to drift off to that intoxicating newborn smell? Or nuzzle up to a cherub cheeked baby? Not to mention, isn't sleep the one thing everyone is always saying new parents will never have enough of again? So if co-sleeping works for a particular family, what does it matter to anyone else? I don't see any reason to torture children and parents alike, in order to 'break' them of this very healthy and natural pattern.Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-22518544501233328492010-08-02T11:31:00.000-05:002010-08-02T11:31:28.615-05:00Preparing financially for Charlie's arrival.Let's face it, money matters at least for most people it does. The economy is tough and it wasn't that long ago that Micha and I were college students surviving on shoe-string budgets. Naturally, when we found out we were expecting, our finances were a concern. Here's what we did (and are doing) to prepare.<br />
<br />
One of the very first things I did, before we went to the doctor or told anyone, was look into Short-Term Disability Insurance. Unfortunately, neither the state I live in nor my employer provides STD Insurance however; I could purchase a policy on my own for relatively cheap. Since I was already pregnant though, the policy would only pay out in the even of complications. Since I'm healthy and this is a very low risk pregnancy, I decided against the STD Insurance. I would recommend if you are trying to conceive this year, purchase a policy now before you get pregnant.<br />
<br />
Something we do periodically is look at our budget. I look back at the last month or two and see exactly where our money is going and how close we are to meeting the goals we set for ourselves. When looking at our budget now, I actually look at two: our Before Baby (BB) Budget and our After Baby Budget (AB). The AB budget is broken into 2 different 'sub-budgets': one for the period of time that Micha and I are on leave and the other for when everyone is back at work. The AB budget reflects stuff like an increased grocery budget, what my take home pay will be with the additional insurance and child care. This is also how we decided whether or not I should return to work after the baby. Daycare is expensive so for some families it makes more sense for one parent to stay home. <br />
<br />
In looking at the budget, we tried to find ways we could cut expenses now, especially for those weeks that we only have one income. We used our tax refund to pay off credit cards and other small debts. We also started paying a little extra on our car payment every month so that in October we will be a full three months of payments ahead. We also continue to try and find ways to make our home as energy efficient as possible and ended up purchasing a front loading washer and drier. It seems counter intuitive to spend money to save money however; we've nearly cut our water bill in half despite needing to water our vegetable garden on a daily basis (yes, I'm waging a full scale nag-a-thon until I get at least one damn rain barrel). For more easy energy efficiency tips: <a href="http://www.cleanairgardening.com/saveenergy.html.%20">http://www.cleanairgardening.com/saveenergy.html. </a><br />
<br />
Another way we save money is at the grocery store. We try to go on a weekly basis and set a weekly budget. A couple months into the pregnancy, we increased the weekly budget to accommodate stocking up on non-perishables, cleaning supplies and toiletries. We take the weekly ads with us (our grocer price matches) and I clip coupons. We are planning to try cloth diapering at least part-time (Micha isn't completely sold on the idea and we know most daycare providers won't go for it) so we have already started stocking up on diapers and wipes.<br />
<br />
Our budget also included a certain degree of what I like to call 'fat', the biggest chunk of which being our cable bill. I hate our cable. It's terrible. After looking more closely, it turns out that the we were paying for service that the provider essentially could not provide, at least not with any kind of consistency, even though they were consistently charging us for it month after month. We got rid of the cable portion and reduced the Internet speed (since it wasn't faster, just more expensive). We got a subscription to Netflix and we haven't missed cable even for a minute. I mean really, who wants to watch a bunch of shows about the biggest dumbasses New Jersey could produce?! <br />
<br />
Two words: Garage Sale. After moving into our new home, I found we had a great deal of 'stuff' that we no longer needed/wanted/used. We cleaned out our closets and participated in the city wide garage sale. The larger ticket items that didn't sell we put on Craigslist. We sorted through Mumbles' clothes and will consign the stuff that is still in good shape and donated the rest. We also picked up some great buys. Micha found an infant seat and two bases as well as a jogger stroller for $30! We found a crib and mattress for $50 on Craigslist and picked up a bouncy seat for $16 at one of my favorite consignment shops <a href="http://www.childrensorchard.com/">Children's Orchard</a>. The important thing to remember when buying used baby gear is to check whether or not the item may have been recalled by the <a href="http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prerel.html%20%20">Consumer Product Safety Commission</a>. You'll also want to be certain that car seats have never been involved in an accident. It is also important to note that it is illegal to resell any product that has been recalled, so be sure you check before putting your old baby gear up for sale.<br />
<br />
There were three phone calls that were super important for us to make, the first was with our respective HR departments and supervisors. In the US, maternity/paternity leave falls under the Family Medical Leave Act, which grants most employees up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave. Some companies, such as the one I work for, are exempt from this because there are fewer than 50 employees. It is important to know what your company's policies are for paid and unpaid leave and other benefits such as insurance premiums while you're on unpaid leave, changes to Health Savings Plans and the availability of short-term disability insurance. Also, life insurance is an important consideration. If your employer does not provide any or enough, buying a term policy is really inexpensive. I recommend a plan that would at least pay out enough to pay off your mortgage and any other large debts (student loans, etc.) plus provide a little extra.<br />
<br />
Since both Micha and I have health insurance through our employers, we were able to compare premiums and coverage and decided that the baby should go on my policy once he's born. That doesn't mean we'll stick with it. Once Charlie has made his debut, I plan to get quotes elsewhere. There are a few companies, like Blue Cross that are very competitive even with employee plans.<br />
<br />
The next call I made was to my insurance company. The last thing I want to do is walk out of the hospital with a brand new baby <i>and</i> a huge debt. Do a little homework about what types of questions to ask about<a href="http://www.babycenter.com/0_health-insurance-coverage-during-pregnancy-and-for-your-new_1454651.bc"> insurance coverage during pregnancy</a>. Watch out for the small things like labs. My provider has in network and out of network lab providers. If your OB doesn't use an in network lab, it could cost you hundreds. Also, find out what, if any, alternatives to traditional care are covered. Some insurance companies will cover Mid-wife attended births and chiropractic care while others will not.<br />
<br />
The last call I made was to the hospital. I spoke with the billing department and asked for a rough estimate on what I'd be billed (my OB's office was very upfront and we were able to make financial arrangements early on). I wanted to try an make a few payments ahead of time but was not able however; she did give me a number and an idea about making financial arrangements after the baby is born.<br />
<br />
I think one of the most important parts of planning for Charlie's arrival was just deciding what was really important to us. Buying a new washer and drier: important. Buying all new baby gear vs. second-hand and hand-me-downs: not. Taking a babymoon: time sensitive. Remodeling the master bath: can wait.Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-87079350362591287392010-08-02T08:18:00.002-05:002010-08-05T12:49:57.749-05:00Re-Normalize Breastfeeding: A first step for life-long healthThis post is part of the Breastfeeding Blog Carnival hosted by The Leaky B@@b. It's World Breastfeeding Week and the carnival theme is "Perspectives: Breastfeeding from Every Angle." Visit The Leaky B@@b for more perspectives on breastfeeding.<a href="http://leakyboob.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">http://leakyboob.blogspot.com/</a> <br />
<br />
<br />
Sadly, the United States has become known for being one of the fattest nations in the world. "During the past 20 years there has been a dramatic increase in obesity in the United States. In 2008, only one state (Colorado) had a prevalence of obesity less than 20%" (<a href="http://www.cdc.gov/">www.<span class="goog-spellcheck-word">cdc</span>.gov</a>). Most of us are aware that obesity contributes to a number of other health problems ranging from added stress on bones and joints to type 2 diabetes and heart diseases. Now more than ever, good nutrition has become the focus of attention for many Americans, including First Lady Michelle Obama. Good nutrition for each of us starts in the womb. So much of our development in those nine months depends upon the good eating habits of our mothers but what happens beyond that? Formula manufacturer's would have us believe that they have come up with a solution for all of us who have to return to work, hate pumping or simply struggle with the natural act of breastfeeding but is it really the perfect solution or a slippery slope? If what they are selling is good nutrition, then why is it chocolate flavored?<br />
<br />
There are numerous reasons to breastfeed ranging from emotional connectivity to health benefits for the mother. This is a look solely at the nutritional benefits as they relate to the infant. Formula is food made with science therefore; it is not natural to an infant's diet. Infants, just like adults, can have difficulty digesting ingredients that are unfamiliar to the body (remember 'Trans fats'?). The proteins in formula are made from cow's milk, easily digested by calves, but human infants' stomach's take time to adjust. Breast milk is perfectly formulated for infants. There are over 150 ingredients in breast milk that cannot be produced synthetically. Of these 150 ingredients, some of the most important are the mother's antibodies. These antibodies become the infants' defense against disease while the immune system is still developing. B<span class="goog-spellcheck-word">reast</span> milk has been shown to protect infants against illnesses such as <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">rotavirus</span> infections, ear infections, and upper and lower respiratory tract infections. Breast milk also has amazing <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">transformative</span> properties. It actually changes over time to suit the needs of the infant as s/he grows. This is something formula cannot do. As many <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">lactivists</span> describe it, breast milk is 'live' while formula is...well...not. Research shows that breastfeeding saves on health care costs. Breastfed infants typically need fewer sick care visits, prescriptions, and hospitalizations than formula fed infants. Breast feeding mother's also miss less work. Their infants are sick less often so medical costs are lower and employees are more productive. The conclusion one can draw from this information: Breastfed infants are healthier, in general, than formula fed infants.<br />
<br />
Formula isn't inferior for lack of trying. Formula makers have been attempting to improve their product since development began in the 1860's. Most recently, <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">DHA</span> and ARA have been added. <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">DHA</span> is believed to be an important component in brain and nerve development. <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">DHA</span> deficiencies are associated with cognitive decline, which occurs in people with diseases like Alzheimer's. Additionally, severely depressed individuals show a depleted level of <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">DHA</span> in the cerebral cortex. As a result of these findings, <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">DHA</span> is being added to many foods and a supplement is recommended for pregnant and nursing women. Adding <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">DHA</span> to infant formula would seem like a good idea however; once again it is synthetically derived and therefore difficult to digest. Cornucopia, a watchdog group, upon request for information from the FDA, found a number of adverse reaction reports concerning formula with the <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">DHA</span> additive. Severe gastrointestinal problems were reported. These problems resulted in 'failure to thrive', acute dehydration from diarrhea and other symptoms including emotion distress for both the infants and their families. Symptoms resulted in hi<span class="goog-spellcheck-word">ghly</span>-invasive medical testing and procedures and hospitalizations. Upon switching to formulas without the <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">DHA</span> additive, the problems (in most cases) were resolved. As long as a breastfeeding mother is eating a diet containing <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">DHA</span> rich foods or is taking a supplement, her infant will get all the <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">DHA</span> his or her body needs for healthy development. To read more about Cornucopia and their findings about breastfeeding, formula and <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">DHA</span> go to <a href="http://www.cornucopia.org/2008/01/replacing-mother-infant-formula-report/">http://www.cornucopia.org/2008/01/replacing-mother-infant-formula-report/</a><br />
<br />
An additional <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">ben</span><span class="goog-spellcheck-word">efit</span> to breastfeeding is the frequency of feeding. Breastfed infants need to eat more frequently than formula fed infants. This may not seem like a benefit if you are a sleep deprived mother but, more frequent feedings through the night translate into a decreased risk of SIDS. Scientists also know that <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">IgA</span>, found in breast milk, has a binding affect on bacterial toxins, such as staphylococcal <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">enterotoxin</span> C and <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Clostridium</span> <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">perfringens</span> <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">enterotoxin</span> A, which have both been implicated in SIDS. Breast milk is also rich in long-chain polyunsaturated fatty acids and other nutrients, which promotes faster development of the central nervous system of the infants. This could be another explanation for why breastfeeding helps prevent SIDS. (South Med J 94(7):704-71, 2001. © 2001 Southern Medical Association) Frequent feedings also affect metabolism. Any one who has ever been on a 'diet' has been instructed to eat smaller meals more frequently throughout the day. A healthy metabolic rate in infancy may translate into a healthier metabolic rate in childhood and on into adulthood.<br />
<br />
About 2% of mothers are physiologically <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">un</span>able to breastfeed, yet only about 77% of infants are ever breastfed and only 50% are still breastfed at the age of 6 months. This means about 20% of new mothers never try to breastfeed and roughly another 30% give it up before their child reaches 6 months. Young mothers (particularly under the age of 20) and those in low-income households were most likely to formula feed, rather than breastfeed. (<a href="http://www.cdc.gov/">http://www.<span class="goog-spellcheck-word">cdc</span>.gov</a>). Sadly, these are also the individuals who have the least access to adequate health care and information regarding nutrition and wellness. The cycle of poor education, poor nutrition, poor health continues from generation to generation and our society never gets any healthier. For the first time in history, future generations will actually have shorter life expectancies than the proceeding generations. This is why re-normalizing breastfeeding in the United States is of critical imp<span class="goog-spellcheck-word">ortance</span>. Formula should not be the first choice but rather, the last resort. Not only do health care providers and government aid resources need to educate and promote breastfeeding as the the healthy, normal way to feed an infant but communities at large need support breastfeeding mothers, regardless of their socioeconomic <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">demograph</span>. Breastfeeding is an infants very first step towards life-long health.Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-38458714563086129122010-07-26T13:15:00.001-05:002010-07-26T14:37:12.668-05:00Charlie's Birthday PlaylistCanon in D major- Bach<br />
All You Need is Love- The Beatles<br />
Baby You're a Rich Man- The Beatles<br />
I Wanna Hold Your Hand- The Beatles<br />
Baby Boy- Beyonce<br />
No Woman No Cry- Bob Marley<br />
The Little Birds- Bob Marley<br />
Close to You- Carpenters<br />
Angel of the Morning- Carpenters<br />
Here Comes My Baby- Cat Stevens<br />
Father and Son- Cat Stevens<br />
Nocturne Op. 9, No.2- Chopin<br />
Prelude for piano No. 4 in E minor- Chopin<br />
Baby Blue- Dave Mathews Band<br />
One Sweet World- Dave Mathews Band<br />
American Baby- Dave Mathews Band<br />
Your Song- Elton John<br />
100 Years- Five for Fighting<br />
Sweet Child of Mine- Guns N Roses<br />
Doing It All for My Baby- Huey Lewis & the News<br />
To Zion- Lauryn Hill<br />
What a Wonderful World- Louis Armstrong<br />
This Woman's Work- Maxwell<br />
Fade Into You- Mazy Star<br />
Can't Help Falling In Love- Michael Buble<br />
Feeling Good- Michael Buble<br />
Ave Maria- Mozart<br />
L-O-V-E- Nat King Cole<br />
Symphony No. 3 in E-flat major- Beethoven<br />
Hey Baby- No Doubt<br />
The Prettiest Thing- Norah Jones<br />
At Last- Norah Jones<br />
Come Away with Me- Norah Jones<br />
Thinking About You- Norah Jones<br />
These Arms of Mine- Otis Redding<br />
Just Breathe- Pearl Jam<br />
Amongst the Waves- Pearl Jam<br />
Comfortably Numb- Pink Floyd<br />
Snow (Hey Oh)- Red Hot Chili Peppers<br />
By Your Side- Sade<br />
The Sweetest Gift- Sade<br />
It's Only Love That Gets You Through- Sade<br />
Push It- Salt-N-Pepper<br />
Joy to the World- Three Dog Night<br />
Baby Baby Baby- TLC<br />
Beautiful Day- U2<br />
Sweetest Thing- U2<br />
Bittersweet Symphony- The Verve<br />
The Swan from the Carnival of AnimalsSparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2500608669134675183.post-26639028182754124952010-07-20T13:02:00.000-05:002010-07-20T13:02:34.383-05:00Week 27- In the WeedsI don't know if 'in the weeds' is a phrase used elsewhere but as a former waitress, it means being overwhelmed. Too many tables, too close together and not enough time to stop and figure out what the hell is going on. Just run your ass off and hope for the best. If pregnancy had weeds, I'd be in them or at least that's how I feel.<br />
<br />
In addition to feeling like I need to do a ton in order to be ready for the baby, who's ETA is in about 2 1/2 months, I'm not sure how to prepare for the actual arrival. I really, <em>really</em> want a natural labor and delivery this time but I'm totally afraid it's going to hurt like hell. I've never even had so much as a broken bone or even a minor surgery. Ok, it's going to hurt and I just have to come to terms with that so how do I get through it? There's a virtual ton of information about how to ease labor. Drinking rasberry leaf tea, chiropractic care, classes, Kegels, exercises designed to help 'open' the pelvic floor, meditation, hypnosis and on and on and on. Which books should I read? Does any of this stuff really work?!? There's probably a marketing genius in Malibu driving a Maserati GranTurismo S paid for by millions of terrified women like me spending a small fortune on these methods. <br />
<br />
On a completely different note, I waddle. Not because I'm very big mind you, but because my hip joints are so stiff it hurts to walk. Oh and to the cranky refridgerator repair man who came to my house complaining about how hot and tired <em>he</em> was, STFU! Like I don't know how hot it is, I'm the one with out ice, dude! I guess I could use the butternut squash that froze in my crisper to cool my drink. Jerk!Sparkie79http://www.blogger.com/profile/15566751428012874807noreply@blogger.com0